How do you cope if your partner is a high flyer?

So your significant other is what might be termed ‘high-powered’? When the alarm sounds, while you’re fumbling to stab the snooze button they’ve already leapt out of bed and are busy checking their phone for emails from the office. How do you cope with a high-flying partner?

There’s an old adage about opposites attracting. But there are degrees of opposite and being in a relationship with someone who sometimes makes you feel ‘inferior’ could become an issue. This is not just a case of simple jealousy – no two people are identical and separate careers move at a different pace. But the key is appreciating these differences and making them work to your mutual benefit.

No matter how you met your lover, whether you knew each other for years prior to making the friends to friends-with-benefits to relationship transition, or you initially hooked up via some dating chat, once you are together you have to learn one of the most important words. Compromise.

Firstly, one of the best things you can do is remind yourself you’ve actually landed on your feet. So what if your partner heads off each morning dressed in an immaculate suit, before clambering into a flash car? Does it really matter if they end up burning the midnight oil poring over spreadsheets containing data that looks like hieroglyphics to you? Think of the positives.

If your partner is enjoying a well-remunerated role then you might well be in a position of looking forward to regular weekend breaks or annual holidays to more exotic locations. If you do have hobbies in common, as most couples do, then there will never be any issue about forking out for expensive concert tickets. Presumably you never complain about invites to fancy restaurants?

Of course, there is the issue of self-esteem, and nobody wants to feel as if they are kept. This is a crucial aspect in any relationship that might be described as salary-imbalanced. The last thing you want to do is get into a rut of taking them for granted. If it happens they are making enough money that you don’t need a full-time job yourself, then by all means enjoy the role of the stay-at-home husband/wife/partner, but make sure you contribute in other ways.

When you have young children you’ll find yourself in a pretty much full-time role anyway. But even if you haven’t you must devote your heart and soul to the domestic chores. Your partner will more than likely feel like putting their feet up for a while after a long day of stressful client meetings. The last thing they’ll want to do is trip over something you had promised to tidy away that morning. 

Perhaps having a professional partner dents your ego. Try to stop thinking about yourself for one moment. There are so many people out there who would give anything to be inside your comfortable shoes.

 
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