Amid the chaos of everyday life, getting in the mood for romance isn’t always as easy as we’d like it to be. From work to finances to the sometimes daunting news of the world, there are plenty of distractions to keep us from the heat and passion that one might be aiming for in a romantic evening. But sex experts and relationship experts alike will tell you that setting the mood is about a lot more than just getting it on. In fact, it’s one of the keys to a successful and healthy relationship.
So how is it done? By making the effort. Simply showing that you’re making that effort to create a romantic environment is the first step, and there are a lot of different ways you can do that. So get out your sweet perfumes and satin sheets, and get ready for romance with these tips for setting the mood in the bedroom.
1. Start With Wine
It’s aromatic. It’s earthy and musky. It’s red (or pink, or white, but we recommend red in this setting). Wine is the beverage of romance, and while some scientists have debunked the centuries-old stories that place wine in the category of aphrodisiacs, experts still agree that a glass doesn’t hurt. In fact, it’s the perfect way to kickstart a romantic, steamy evening. Don’t overdo it – you don’t want to be too woozy – but just a glass of wine to start the night will loosen you both up, let your stresses of the day melt away, and help to set the mood before you’ve even entered the bedroom.
2. Lighting and Candles
First and foremost, dim the lights if possible. There’s a reason they call it “mood lighting.” There’s simply no such thing as setting the mood with bad lighting, with overhead lights illuminating the room to the point of bright whites and fluorescence. If you can’t dim the lights, get yourself some string lights, and if you can’t do that, put something over a lamp (without making it an eyesore) to achieve the dim effect. A shirt often works best for this, as it lets just enough light through for visibility.
Better yet, though, if you have enough candles, you can nix the lights all together. The flickering of candles can make a room feel alive, like it’s waiting for you, and you’ll have the added bonus of the warm aromas a candle can give off. Either way, if you’ve created a dimly-lit setting via candles or makeshift dimmed-lighting, it will tell your partner immediately upon entering that you’re making an effort to set the mood, and that in itself is a turn-on.
3. Sweet Perfumes to Set the Mood
Setting the mood goes beyond just what your bedroom looks like; you can do a couple of things for yourself to add to the vibe, and utilizing a romantic perfume is one of the easiest steps you can take. The effect of aromas on mood has long been studied, and some scents, like vanilla, and jasmine, are even considered by some to be aphrodisiacs. Sweet perfumes commonly contain notes of one of those potential aphrodisiacs and can help both the wearer and those around them feel sensual and warm.
Of course, when you’re applying sweet perfume, the mental effects of that aroma likely isn’t the reason you’re using it. Rather, perfume’s purpose is to make you smell good, and that’s not something to overlook in the bedroom. Activating and using all of your senses when setting the mood can make for a more arousing situation, and the sense of smell is one of the strongest. Not to mention few things are more appealing than someone with an alluring scent. So get out your sweet perfume, and help set the mood by making your skin, your hair, and your clothes (or lack thereof?) smell as warm, inviting, and sexy as possible.
4. Materials Matter
When you’re aiming for romance, ditch the cotton or flannel sheets if possible and swap them out for something a little more sexy. Think… satin. Once again, making the effort to create a romantic environment can be just as appealing as the environment itself, and nothing tells your partner you’re making the effort quite like a change of sheets, particularly to ones you wouldn’t typically use on a daily basis. Satin is inherently sultry, smooth, and romantic, and using this material helps with activating all senses, like we mentioned above. Upon first touch, those satin sheets can make a difference in the mood. Plus, they’ll keep you a lot cooler during whatever comes next. It’s worth the effort of remaking your entire bed. Trust us.
Communication is key in any kind of relationship. We’ve heard it a million times, and it applies just as much in the bedroom as ever. Whatever your communication style may be, an important part of setting the mood and ensuring that you both remain in the mood is communicating. Make sure you’re both on the same page, that you’re taking the evening in the right direction, that you’re doing things you’re both comfortable with. Communicating in such situations can be intimidating; it’s more than just talking about where you want to go to dinner. But it’s sure to build trust and create a comfortable, safe environment when you’re trying to set the mood. Plus, if you’re both able to communicate what you want and what you’re comfortable with, you’ll both have a much better time.
Music and More
The list above is just a few ideas to kickstart your evening, a few chores you can do to set the mood for romance and show your partner what you’re looking for. But it’s certainly not an all-inclusive list. The most common one that I’ve left off is music, as it’s not always what people want in the bedroom. But having the perfect tunes in the background can add a good deal of romance to the evening, not to mention help arouse all of your senses for a full experience. You can also put on a movie that you know puts you both in the mood, or start the evening with an aromatic bath. The options are numerous, and at the end of the day, it’s all about knowing yourself and your partner and what you both prefer when it comes to romance.