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What is a Friend? |
Friday, 16 May 2008 | ||||
"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself." Sent by Lysha Have you ever asked yourself this question? For me, the answer has changed over the years as I've grown.
When I was little, a friend was someone who liked the same things that I liked, who liked me, and who I enjoyed being around. Then it began to morph around grade school, then high school: a friend is someone who agrees with me; who won't hurt my feelings; who I feel safe with; who will protect my badge of honour; who won't grow, change and leave me. During and after college it manifested as someone who wouldn't tell me that I should dump the idiot I was dating; someone who wouldn't call me out on my 'issues.'
Startled, I wasn't even sure what she was talking about, and her tone was one I wasn't used to hearing coming out of a friend's mouth. But she pulled her arms off of the table and sat back and I sat up, shoulders back, chest out, the way I'd been taught by my physical therapist. I was surprised at my internal reaction to what she had said. My initial thought was, "I was comfortable! Isn't she my friend? Can't we skip it? I've been sitting up straight for so much of this meal and it's more than I would have done at home!"
Because she loves me? But I'd thought love and friendship was supposed to feel like a warm chocolate chip cookie when you're on a diet! I'd thought friends let me slouch when I'm tired and not risk when I'm scared! Being a friend could mean she'd say something on purpose that would make me uncomfortable, that would call me on my stuff? Ouch!
I hadn't realized until that moment that my definition of friend had changed. As uncomfortable as it was to be called on my 'stuff,' when I looked at it from the perspective that she was just helping me do what I actually wanted, because she was on my side, and seeing that "on my side" could actually mean helping me when I was too in my feelings to help myself, I realized I'd truly made a wonderful friend. And I realized I must have grown a lot to be able to receive that kind of friendship without turning away from it.
If so, is that what you really want? I challenge you to redefine what friendship, love, and support mean to you and see how your relationships stack up to your definitions. Some of your relationships may surprise you. Some people may be the kind of friend you want already and you may have brushed them off because it didn't feel good when they told you to quit your job after listening to you complain about it for 4 years straight. Or you might notice that some of your best friends never challenge you or they expect you to help them stay small and vice-versa. What kind of friendships do you want? What kind would support you? Where could you use some improvement?
So what about you? What does it mean to be a friend? About the Author (c) 2008 Rebecca P. Soulette Life Coach, Rebecca Soulette, CFLC III, is a senior level coach certified through the Fearless Living Institute. She is an expert in helping her clients to live fulfilling and balanced lives packed full of inspiration, joy, and freedom. She offers FREE ecourses, resources, teleclasses, private 1:1 and group coaching. For more information or to sign up for her FREE email newsletter, check out http://www.RebeccaSoulette.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rebecca_Soulette
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“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” Ashley Smith
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