7 Substantial Tips to Setting Up Boundaries For Your Juvenile
Monday, 05 August 2019

 Clear boundaries signify a healthy relationship. As a parent, it can be difficult for you at times to know where exactly to set a boundary. Here are some of the reasons why Setting boundaries can be challenging:

  • Parents did not have a good example growing up.

  • Setting boundaries may feel uncomfortable.

  • The child has some health or mental challenges.

  • A parent feels guilty because of an event or situation that occurred in the child's life, such as divorce, abandonment of parent or even abuse may have occurred.
 These are just a few of the many scenarios that can make establishing boundaries difficult. You may be able to relate to the situations mention or you may have different obstacles in the way of setting proper boundaries with your child. Whatever the case limits are essential for all humans to feel happy and a sense of fulfilment in their lives. Let us discuss how as a parent you can allow your child to grow into a happy, satisfied and productive adult.

1. Follow the principle that "less is more." 

As disagreements arise remember that the less you say is more appreciated. During highly charged emotional situations the less you react the more inner peace you will feel despite the circumstances. This principle can be beneficial in defusing challenging issues that come up. Controlling the tongue also helps you stay in control of the situation and can keep problems from escalating out of control. This principle is also setting a boundary that you are not going to participate or be pulled into contributing to bad behaviour. 

2. Avoid labelling your child. 

Labeling is a form of judgment. You are judging if your child is a good or bad person. Nobody likes to feel judged. It is not healthy for anyone's emotional well-being. Remember the child came from you, they are a good person. This is particularly difficult when a child keeps making bad choices of drugs and alcohol over and over again. Just do the best you cannot to label. At the same time do not allow yourself to be labelled by your child. Make a clear and definite boundary that the labelling and name-calling are unacceptable in your relationship. 

Creating an ally with your child takes effort, clear boundaries and consistency. Remember you may win the battle but lose the war. Each challenge is just a little battle. Try to put the emotion aside and win with your child on your team. 

These situations are challenging, and a drug abuse treatment program can help you and your child implement reasonable boundary strategies. Whatever it takes to make your relationship with your child healthy by having proper boundaries.
3.  Be Consistent. 

Consistency is essential for a secure home environment. Mean what you say and say what you mean is a vital course of action for parents. There is not anyone who likes hypocrisy. Children especially are sensitive to hypocritical actions. Parents need to be reasonable in their statements and expectations of their children. Children do need standards and expectations outlined by their parents. This boundary of sticking to your word and being consistent prepares your child for adulthood to act responsibly and respect authority.

4. Create an ally in your child and not an enemy

This can be a very challenging boundary to create. Allies are on the same team even though they may have different ideas, goals and methods of accomplishing a particular task. This is especially difficult in dealing with children with an addiction problem. Here are some suggestions as to how to create an ally out of a troubled young person:

  • Sit down together and create a list of what is the goal for the home environment.

  • Ask the child what you can do to make the environment better and write it on the list.

  • Ask the child what they can do to contribute to the goal of a secure home environment.

  • After the child is finished you add a few small things that would help the home environment. 

  • Give lots of commendation and praise. Thank the child repeatedly for their input and willingness to work as a team.

  • Now you talk about that these are great ideas and how much they are going to help.

  • Use an Illustration: When you get your license you agree to obey the speed limit law. They put speed limit signs out and they predetermine the fine if the law is broken way before you start driving. This boundary helps drivers to stay on course and not break the law.

  • Ask the child, "So what should boundary should we put in force if the limits we have made for our home are broken?"

  • Then work together on consequences.

  • Post the list for all to see.

  • Give lots of commendation and try what you have agreed.


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