An Experienced Guide to a Happy Married Sex Life

 A few years back, my wife and I were having a dinner out with a couple of other couples. In the course of the conversation the theme turned to sex. I soon discovered that I was in the company of couples with no qualms about speaking openly about their sexual interests. This was made evident by a comment from one of the wives which was something to the effect of “…I feel like a boring girl, all I really like doing is the one standard position…”.  

 First of all, I was very impressed by the courage it took for this women to expose such a vulnerable aspect. But, my next thought was “How did we even get on this subject?” I was about change the subject when another husband at the table–– not the husband of the women who made the comment–– said, “Well, you might be missing out”. 

Whether this comment was right or wrong is not for me to say, after all this couples intimate affairs are their own business. But, I do believe that every couple that shares an intimate life would want to have passionate, fun and fulfilling sex in their encounters. 

As it turns out, truly satisfying sex in a marriage is less about the dynamic of the bedroom and more about the little things that increase sexual attraction within a happy couple. With this in mind, here are some practices that lead to a stronger sexual connection and more satisfying encounters.  

1. Talk a Lot

The quality and level of satisfaction from your sex life will be proportionate to the openness and vulnerability you have with each other. Good sex begins by stimulating the primary sensual organ of the body, the mind. Communication is the key to making strong mental connection so simply talking and listening to each other is about the sexiest practice there is. You must be completely honest with each other about how you feel about the sexual side of your relationship. Talk to each other about turn-ons, turn-offs and fantasies. Then, when you are getting down to business, keep talking mental stimulation during sex will lead to a more satisfying experience in the end. 

2. Send Signals Throughout The Day

Flirting is a great way to enhance sexual connections. By sending sexy messages to your wife throughout the day, you essentially begin foreplay early. Before leaving for work, sweep her up in your arms and kiss her on the neck. Look her up and down and let her know what a beauty she is and how lucky you are to have her. Let her no hoe desirable she is in your eyes. Later during the day call her up or drop in on her at her job and remind her that you have been thinking about her and even what you have been thinking. Even if she laughs, the response is a positive one and you have let her know that honesty is forefront in the sexual relationship. This is all cultivating sexual atmosphere and delightful sexual tension that will relieved and satisfied at days end. If you want things hot and sweaty tonight, better start warming your lady up at breakfast. 

3. Touch Her Regularly

On the same point, simple affection has the same effect of building sexual energy. Touching her hand, neck, back and hip as you stand close or pass by her during the day sends a strong message of your thoughts and intentions. When my wife is in the kitchen cooking I will gently massage her shoulders or back or place my hand on the small of her back as she passes through the door. All these small acts of affection encourage trust, support vulnerability and opens avenues of exploration into the relationship.

4. Change Things Up

It can be easy to get bogged down in procedure and lose some pf the fun of the engagement. Doing the same thing in the bedroom is a lot like listening to the same song over and over again. Even if it’s a good song, you eventually need to flip the record. By being open and honest with each other you can have greater confidence to try new things, explore new sensations, whip out some toys like a massager at loveplugs and explore each other’s kink. 

5. Work Out Together

There is hardly a better way to increase the output of your sexual relationship than taking the time to build strong sexy bodies together. Regular exercise not only increases sexual desire and enhances libido but it lifts the spirits and boost self-confidence. This will ultimately increase your capacity for positive energy and the energy exchange that is sexual release. 

6. Schedule It

Spontaneity is fun and exciting, but there is nothing planned precision for creating quality monuments of your sexual prowess. Furthermore, in a world full of pressing demands on mind and body, scheduled regularity can enhance the overall benefits of sex. Sex can be come sidelined as well if not given its full importance, so hearting those date nights on the calendar can ensure your love cups are kept brimming. 

7. Stop Watching Porn

Yes, there are those schools of thought that promote watching porn together to enhance the sexual encounter, I think this is ludicrous. Attention that is not going into each other is going to be fostering distrust and sapping at that vital connection that you’ve been working hard to build together. Stop looking at porn completely, invest that attention and vitality into your wife and your sex life will improve because of it.
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“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.” 

Ashley Smith

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