What’s Really On Your Partner’s Phone

Relationships were a lot easier when there wasn't so much technology around. We had very few ways of determining the truth of what our partners told us, and so we had only two options. We either believed them and took them at their word, or if something didn't sit right with us, we left them. There was no in-between - everything came down to face to face conversations, and what we felt in our guts.

Now, technology has changed all that. There are a thousand ways you can sneakily keep tabs on your partner. You can scour their social media accounts. You can flick through their emails. If you know their passwords, you can even go through their phones and see what they’re hiding there. It’s all-too-easy to become paranoid, and it’s also all-too-easy to spend your time thinking about going through the communication devices your partner or spouse just to ensure that they aren’t doing something untoward.

This is, of course, an unhealthy way to maintain a relationship. Trust should always be more important, and if you can’t trust your partner without demanding to know every detail of what they’re doing with their phone or who they’re talking to, you should probably consider ending the relationship. We know that excessive phone use does cause relationship anxiety, though, and if your partner seems more interested in looking at their phone screen than speaking to you, then you're entitled to feel upset about it.

Naturally, if your partner is spending more time with their phone than they used to and also hiding the screen from you, your first thought is that they're having an affair. In some unfortunate circumstances, you might be correct, but there could also be several other explanations - and some of them might be issues that they need your help with. Before you accuse them of cheating, consider these eventualities instead - and think about having an honest conversation with them about them.

They’re A Devoted Mobile Gamer

You don’t need a video game console to play video games anymore. Technology has come on a long way, and a lot of gaming now happens on mobile phones. We’re not just talking Snake (there’s a reference that went over the head of all the under 30s!) or Candy Crush Saga, either. It’s thought that more than 2.4 billion people played mobile games at some point in 2019. That's over 34% of all the people on Earth. Not all of them are hardcore gamers, but your partner might be. They could have dozens of games on there, and the reason you're not getting any attention is that they're addicted to them. Any type of game that exists on a console now also exists on a mobile phone - and they're every bit as time-consuming.

They Have Financial Issues

Even though we're constantly told by everyone worth listening to that it's good to talk, people still don't like to come clean about their financial problems. Adults feel like they're supposed to be able to take care of their own finances, and so when they can't, they feel like they've failed. This is often doubly true when that adult is in a relationship, and the other person in the relationship is much better than they are at handling money. Your partner might be struggling to meet financial commitments. They might even have missed payments on those commitments or a deep overdraft that they don't want you to know about. They're repeatedly checking their credit and finance situation on their phone, but you seeing it is the last thing they want.

They’re A Gambler

Gambling has evolved a lot over the course of the past few years. It's no longer necessary to visit a bookmaker or a casino to place a bet. The internet took gambling online, and before long, there were online slots websites everywhere such as UKOnlineSlots.com. The idea of online slots proved to be so popular that the concept was shrunken down for use on mobile handsets. Online slots became mobile slots, and mobile slots can be played anywhere there's an internet connection. There's nothing wrong with gambling so long as there isn't an addiction or spending issue, and it's legal in the area you live in, but that doesn't stop some people feeling like it's a shameful activity. They'll hide their gambling habit because they don't want you to see it, and that can make them seem secretive and untrustworthy.

They’re Worried About A Health Condition

One of the biggest problems that have come with the internet - other than the fact it's made it a lot easier for people to cheat and have affairs - is that it's made everyone a medical expert. All you need to do is type a few symptoms into Google or a specialist medical website, and a few minutes later, you've convinced yourself that you have a terminal disease and you're dying. To compound the problem, a lot of people sit on that information and do nothing rather than going to a doctor and finding out for sure. They read more and more information about the condition, post on forums, and then become stressed and anxious when they should be looking for support. They won't want you to worry about them, though, and so they'll keep their phone hidden from you.

We do also have to discuss the elephant in the room, though - there could also be things on the phone that they don't want you to see. At best, they might be private conversations with friends that they know you'd disapprove of, either because the humor is inappropriate or the content is something you'd find distasteful. At worst, they could be messages from someone they're having an affair with. As dreadful as that would be, the process for dealing with the situation is the same. Calmly tell them you've noticed they're hiding their phone from you. Just as calmly, tell them how it's making you feel. Once that's done, ask them if there's anything that you should know about or anything that they'd like to tell you. When that conversation has happened, it's time to do what we did in the old days - stay if you believe them, or leave if you don't. The technology in our lives may have changed, but the principles of common sense have not.
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"Intent is not a thought, or an object, or a wish. Intent is what can make a man succeed when his thoughts tell him that he is defeated. It operates in spite of the warrior’s indulgence. Intent is what makes him invulnerable. Intent is what sends a shaman through a wall, through space, to infinity."

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