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How To Start Dating After A Divorce
Monday, 03 December 2018

The effect of cupid’s arrow has waned and the marriage’s ship has sailed and capsized in Antarctica. What is left is acrimony and the lawyer’s bill. Without a doubt, getting a divorce is tough. Yet, as the social beings that we’re, the craving for the companionship of a lover soon sets in. What remarkable creatures we are you’ll say?! Because, even though we can’t regenerate most of ourorgans, we still find a way to heal a broken heart and bring the broken pieces back together.

So you think to yourself, “Life can be so unpredictable, one moment I was married, the next I’m on google searching for how to start dating after a divorce.” But, hey!!!... You’re on the right path! And even though dating after a divorce is a daunting task, by following these tips, dating after a divorce will be a lot easier.

1. Take time to find yourself again

After a divorce, it's a must that you take time to heal before you head out to the dating world again because it won't do you good to be coming off as hung-up and bitter around people. So grieve sufficiently, have a sober reflection, own up to your own mistakes to the demise of your marriage, forgive yourself and more importantly move on. By achieving inner peace and loving yourself, you're already on the path to finding love again. Remember, you can't give what you don't have.

2. Be yourself and know what you want

You're an adult, and to an extent, you're a veteran in life. You've lost in life, won some battles, healed, and retained some scars. Consequently, this is not the time to settle for less or pretend to be who you're not. You should go for whoever you want and be unapologetic about it. You also need to realize that your dates will not be perfect and will definitely come with baggage or personality flaws. So you need to know your deal breakers, stand by your core values and try not to be an upper-fixer because you do not want to ignore or tolerate traits that ruined your marriage or that will probably ruin the next one.

3. Carefully unpack your baggage

Whether you've been married for a long or short time, you carry your dingy baggage into every relationship. And this can range from having kids to having financial problems. Yet, while it's OK to tell your date that you're divorced from the start or keep mute so as to enjoy your date without being judged, you should always be cautious about telling too much too soon to an acquaintance that might not matter in an hour. Consequently, you should enjoy the moment and save the touchy subjects about the past for after you've gotten closer. But when you decide to let the cats out of the bag, do be honest with your past.

4. Take care of the things you can control
Longtime relationships make us lazy and with the aftermath of a divorce, you most certainly would have let go of yourself. And like it or not, people are very superficial. So now is the time to work on your appearance and bring sexy back. Hit the gym, get a new haircut, go shopping, be well-groomed, spruce up, and have a makeover. At this stage, chances are that your flirting skills are now rusty. So pick yourself up and hone your flirting skills so that you can attract dates confidently. It's also important you take on dating with the right attitude as it has a huge influence on your dating experience.

5. Give online dating a chance

When you decide to date after a divorce, you're like a baby taking his/her first steps on an unfamiliar ground. Depending on how long you've been married, a lot would have unchanged. This is why you should be willing to adapt to the ever-changing dating scene by giving online dating a try. Aside from the unconventional dating approaches like speed dating, or professional matchmaking services, online dating is one means of meeting potential lovers that you should never be recalcitrant to. With a plethora of potential dates at your fingertips, and the privilege to narrow them down to nearby locations or filter them to your taste, online dating is not only the easiest way of meeting potential lovers, but also a definite must-do for a divorcee looking for love.

6. Get out there and mix with singles

Putting yourself out there is not only a great opportunity to meet potential dates, but it’s also good for your mental health. A life solitude will only make you wallow in negative thoughts, which is pretty much unhealthy. So go out with your single friends or even with divorced friends if you're looking for a common ground. You can go to single events, sports or even a book club. You can also volunteer or join vocational classes. Just do anything that gets you out of the house and gives you the opportunity to socialize.

And that's all folks! But do remember, ina bid to fill that love void, do not be too desperate such that you compromise on your standards or worse give yourself impossible timelines that set you up for heartbreak all over again. Cheers!
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