Relationship separation and divorce can be some of the most devastating experiences in life, especially when kids are in the picture. Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to cope with the loss and move on with your life.
The loss experienced when a relationship breaks down is not just about losing your partner and their company, but the loss of finances, social networks, and most importantly, the loss of ideas and dreams. In most relationships, couples have ideas about who they are, their purpose in the world, and what they want their lives to look like down the line. When these ideas go down the drain, it can be hard to cope with the current situation.
A relationship breakup also comes with uncertainties about the future. Will you find someone else? What direction will your life take without your partner? Questions to these unknowns tend to seem worse than staying in an unhappy relationship. That’s why most people tend to hold on to something that does not work. In the next section, we are going to look at a few tips on how to manage separation and divorce.
If you have parted ways with your partner, do not fret, as there are a few things you can do to get through this difficult change. During periods of emotional crisis such as divorce and relationship reparation, opportunities to learn and grow tend to appear. Think of it as a time-out in your life where you get to reinvent yourself and sow the seeds of new growth.
Establishing boundaries is vital if you want to protect yourself from additional pain. These boundaries include limiting the energy, time, and affection your give to your ex. Although many people say they would like to remain friends, this tends to be a challenging task and may not be healthy or realistic.
It is also advisable to take some time to reflect on things and reassess your life. However, balance is vital as you do not want to spend all your time thinking about the past. A good rule of thumb is to give yourself about a year to reflect, recover and grow. Keep in mind that the end goal is to move on and getting stuck in hurtful feelings will only make it difficult. Introspection is certainly helpful and necessary, but include some thoughts and actions that help improve your life.
In order to get a strong sense of normality and comfort, maintain routines. This involves working out regularly and eating healthy. Beware of unhealthy coping strategies like doing drugs or drinking alcohol in order to curb the pain. Get adequate sleep, reduce your workload and get rid of other sources of stress. Treating your breakup as if you are getting over an illness is key.
Stay as positive as you can in everything you do. This will come in handy in your recovery and allow you to get back on track.
Relationship separation or divorce might be devastating, but it presents an opportunity to take a new turn, maybe in a field you’ve been interested in, but never had the time to indulge.
As with most challenging situations, it is imperative to have some form of support from people who care about your health and well-being. You can seek support from loved ones, friends, and professionals at the Clarity Clinic. Attempting to ‘’tough it out’’ yourself puts you at great risk of stress, depression, low self-esteem, and other problems, both mental and physical. Writing your problems down can also help as it provides a canvas to vent.
It is also important to know the difference between depression and a normal reaction to separation. If you do not feel any forward momentum after giving yourself time to heal, you might be experiencing depression. If you are unable to maintain your normal routine, consult a professional.